Something I hate asking for. Something I don’t know how to do.
Yet, I have big ideas God has put on my heart and in these early stages, it needs support.
- PRAYER SUPPORT!!
- Referral Support
What Is on my heart?
I want to accomplish several things with the ETVFC. I have been writing articles and posts for years now. Going on to a website to get info helps. However, I am seeing what works best is discipleship. Giving out tracts is great, writing posts are great – but to really impact someone’s life you need to bleed with them, work with them, see them fall and help them up, and work hand in hand with them.
And you need a place they can share their secrets that the devil is blackmailing them with.
Not just tell them what to do and emotionally distance yourself from the results.
Not just be a one-way street where you have the message going one direction and maybe they can send you some fan mail or hearts during an online message you give.
And this goes hand in hand with an addiction program I am getting involved with. I had been a lifelong addict of pornography since 3rd grade. It didn’t go 100% away when I got saved, but that did cut the puppet strings from the devil. I got saved at age 26, back in the year 2001 and have had long stretches of victory and in other phases long term try harder-fail-try harder and when I admitted falling in the conservative hard preaching, I was banned from ministry, etc, and put on a shelf. Their message is a Learn to Hide it better/ choose more Politically correct sins next time/ and when you are grounded long enough we will let you return. The problem is you never really ever get to return, and you know you are not the only one who struggles. But for reaching out you got punished and unless you reach out in your indefinite probation time, you won’t survive the waiting game on the shelf. It creates a Catch 22 and the devil is the one who has caught you.
There has to be a better way to bring real victory. Not just getting someone to be a better actor and suppress the secret struggles.
That approach does not work– secrets kill, but often the churches today reward the person that can live a double live and harbor secret sins AND SHUNS and punishes the ones who try and bring it to the light to a church culture that says, “We don’t want those kind of people in here.”
Well, 70% of men in church have a secret porn problem. 40% of Pastors. 30% of women in the church now have an addiction. You can access in your hand what you used to have to sneak off to the seedy side of town to find. You can have a large scale full blown sex addiction and keep it completely hidden for decades. Today porn use is rampant, getting worse, and we the church have a “Thank God we’re not like SO and SO”
I believe I have found the answer to this is in small group settings — these can be small groups that can meet on Zoom where guys can reach out to other men in their group during the week. There are signs to look for before a relapse. There is power when the secret sins are brought into the LIGHT – monsters live in the dark. There is power when you have a solid curriculum that is bringing recovery to thousands and you have the structure and leadership to bring it to people, and the desire to help others in the process.
I want to be able to:
- Help men recover from porn as well as stay pure WHILE HAVING A GOOD ATTITUDE. The elder brother didn’t watch Porn perhaps but his attitude was rotten and self-righteousness when “doing good” is just as offensive to God as secret sin. We are going to struggle with BAD ACTIONS if we can’t do right or BAD ATTITUDES if we can do right. Instead, we need to let the GRACE of GOD work through us!!
- Focus on discipleship and hands-on vs. just get people saved and expect them to find truth. And help people learn their identity in CHRIST.
- Publish truth material on evangelism and recovery and be able to regularly help people find freedom from sin and freedom in CHRIST. While we focus on the problem of recovery, not let it become too inward where we don’t remember there is a lost and dying world.
Part of the curriculum will be leading groups using the Conquer Series –see https://www.soulrefiner.com/ . That will require the labor and man hours to work with men, but the good news is the program is in place, it fits what I am looking for in a discipleship/mentorship role, and besides time, the expenses will be minimal. Especially how I plan to fund this.
Are you interested in partnering up in some capacity?
If so, check out the next blog post. How you can help!