I just wrote a 11,000 word book! Unedited. In 3 hours.
Simply by cutting and pasting some of my FB posts the pat 9 months.
Enjoy, and pardon the mess. It is still under construction.
I recognize and admit I have always had a love for writing but I never knew what to do with it. I thought it was good but I still didn’t know for sure because I was very sensitive and insecure.
When I wasn’t saved, I published annual Christmas newsletters, wrote articles in UB’s generation magazine, and wrote poems and cartoons. I am still trying to figure this out, but I am starting to simply see two things come into focus. I am truly thanking God now for this talent and I am determined to write and let God take this where he wants.
I am not showing off here but I am amazed when I see a bit of a timeline here. Dates are estimated at times. I am basically just tracing my writing roots a bit, and as my family growing up would remember, do this as a Top 10 list.
Top 10 Writing Accomplishments
10) Ronnie Rap -poem 4th grade…. “When Ronnie was in Hollywood, he worked with monkeys then. Now he is in Washington and works with them again.”
9) A White Dog in Black Snow – short story I wrote in 8th grade– “I loved the snow. In fact i treasured it.”
8) The night before Christmas — full poem parody from 1996– inspired by my cat always destroying my Christmas tree. “Twas the night before Christmas, the goose getting fat, not a creature was stirring, except Sambuka my cat.”
7) Papa Joe Cartoons –full animated cartoon series. see below and the Helthco Top 10 Lists — Where’s Mike? Where’s Katie? Where’s Matt? Where’s Joe? that usually began with a “They left to build a house and look for a better job” and usually included a Steff Sister joke or an Octagon joke, or both. Inbox Matt for more info on these.
6) 2003-2005 The Buffalo city mission sermons – the Joseph Series of messages (God gave Joseph a Dream — and through Obedience, Faith, Humility and Patience, God allowed the Dream to Pass), the Mimic Octopus, Lessons from Pharmacy, Why Jesus is better than Santa, Jonah, etc The Lord gave me the idea to volunteer in the kitchen preparing meals for the folks at the Buffalo City Mission once a month and once a month I would preach the late morning chapel service. I loved it. When I first started preaching, I would type out full sermons on my laptop, and those I would often read word for word as my message.
5) 2005-2006 the 13 Firemen Pamphlet after getting all excited at a bible study and then having to endure 2 hours of Christians arguing over doctrine. The ETVFC idea was birthed out by the end of the tract. ETVFC, which stands for the End Times Vol Fire Co, might be the direction God wants at some point, but I would now emphasize more discipleship and help with addictions and spiritually dying to self.
3) 2006+ Wedding testimony, “How God brought us together – The Story of Mike and Michelle Ilardo” and my personal testimony
tract, “What in the World happened to Mike Ilardo?”, and other tracts I wrote —
Stanley Cup Trivia
Taste and See
Game 7 Sudden Death Overtime
Fish Oil Salesmen
Redeeming the Time
Yes, Virginia there’s been a Savior Born!
I also wrote and designed a 6 week Creation powerpoint presentation, where 3 of them are up on the website.
4) 2012+ KeepAmericafromhell.blogspot.com . Wrote series and dozens and dozens of blog articles. titles include:
The Jesus is not a Flu Shot series.
Don’t recruit with the Fatted Calf
Don’t miss the boat (about Noah)
Don’t count your converts before they hatch!
https://keepamericafromhell.blogspot.com
2) 2013 Facebooking –just see my time line. God gives me ideas a lot of the times. Other posts, such as my political ones are ways to deal with the things that frustrate me. I seem to write as stress reduction as when I write I get solutions and often get my eyes off the problems. Struggle is still a bit unsure how it all comes across.
1) 2013 my blog is switched to ETVFC.org designed by Tom and George Rood from our church at Old Time Baptist Church. These 2 brothers have a web design company called Intelligent Design. We have some of the tracts up there I wrote, the blog, a few power point presentations, some articles, etc. The theme is saving the lost and equipping the saved.
I took the kids through Tim Hortons this morning and sometimes Lydia asks for a vanilla dip donut. I am “eating healthier” perhaps these days, procrastinating officially making a drastic lifestyle change as long as possible.
So I tend to be the “cleanup” eater at times. I know Lydia will only eat a few bites, and I can rationalize not wanting to waste food.
She didn’t want hers today. Josiah didn’t want anything when I asked him, but now he asked for her donut.
“Sure Josiah, but save Daddy at least a bite.” I then elaborated and asked him to save a third of it for me.
“Sure dad.”
A few minutes later the bag is handed up to me. Felt like a full donut. I thought, wow, even better than when Lydia has one.
And I look inside. To my surprise it was 100% intact, but every drop of vanilla dip frosting was licked off.
Good thing I had a couple tim bits that would have gone to waste.
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Elijah — How do you fix a gorilla?
Daddy — With Gorilla Glue!!!!
Elijah – No, with a monkey wrench!
You can learn a lot from a popsicle stick.
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I have a really solid million dollar idea that is guaranteed to work.
I will share it with the first 2,000 people to each send me $500.
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Sorry, that kid keeps cracking me up.
Obie kept asking me for this “PARTY” thing when I go to ‘Oller General.
Finally I figured out what he wanted. He wanted a whoopie cushion they sell there for $2. In other words, a FARTY thing!
And he was all excited when I brought it home yesterday. Was fun and games for 30 minutes until he and Lydia broke it.
I am heading out this morning and hear the pitter patter of little feet.
“Daddy can you go back to Oller General and get me a new party- thing!”
The wheels were turning in Obie’s mind yesterday.
Obie — seeing the Disney movies available on our Hulu account.
“Why is it called MOOOO-YAN if there are no cows in it?”
I almost quit shopping at Wal Mart because I started to see they really only wanted my money.
However, I thought about it and realized in exchange, it really fed me and met many of our families’ needs from simply attending there regularly three times a week.
Yes, I realize there are hypocrites in Wal Mart.
There are times I have felt neglected by them because they didn’t carry something I wanted. There are times I have been hurt because they stopped carrying something we used.
And yes, I could do my shopping on-line at home instead.
So if I stopped going to Wal Mart, I may save some money. But for starters, I would lose my influence there. I find when I go there, and go there regularly I know many of the workers. And some of the shoppers. I can encourage them, thank them, give tracts to them, pray for them, and be a friend.
I need Wal Mart and Wal Mart needs me.
So it’s a bit of a ministry there as well.
So please, don’t attack my Wal Mart. And go easy on the church as well for very similar reasons.
——————-
Yesterday there was a small battle of words between 5 and almost 5 year old cousins Rachel and our Obie.
I don’t know what precipitated the following by Rachel but it was quite funny to hear Obie retell what she told him.
“Rachel told me ‘you’re not my best friend! No way WHO-ZAY’ ”
It sounded serious but they worked it out somehow.
———————–
It surely was an unexpected blessing to have 60 degrees yesterday in Buffalo in January. Maybe it is the calm before the storm but you can’t beat taking the kids to the park and coming home to the smell of someone having a bon fire.
On our way to eat at John & Mary’s the boys asked if we could eat outside.
And I was ready to put back up the pool.
——————-
If the Church gets right, America recovers…
II Chron.7:14
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I had a bag of cans to toss down the basement and Obie wanted to help.
So I carefully held him and let him toss the bag downstairs.
“BOMBS-AWAY” he yells. I start laughing.
“That’s from Home-A-Yone” he said. (Home Alone)
MJI
I overslept this morning. At 5:30 the alarm went off and I woke up confused. I immediately thought the alarm should not be going off, it’s Saturday. Then I turned it off and fell back asleep.
Happy Wednesday everyone!
Josiah Ilardo
Quiz 10
I. Identifying verbs: UNDERLINE the verbs two times.
1. The boys read and recorded the books for the reading contest. (Joe underlines read and recorded)
II. Application: WRITE a sentence using a compound verb.
“I built and destroyed the lego building.”
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Boys will be boys.
Except when I get to take them to work. Today both Obie and Elijah are here.
So Saturdays, boys will be pharmacists.
When they aren’t building forts in the back room out of boxes.
I am frequently signing my name w/ today’s date on many of the prescriptions I fill every day.
Today I keep wanting to write 1/12/76.
And I know I am getting up there when my friend asked how old I was and I first said, “I think 42”. He had to correct me.
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I came home last evening to a home-made spaghetti and meatballs dinner my wonderful wife made. She had the kids yell surprise and happy birthday as I walked in and was greeted by smiles and laughter.
I said I was the richest man in the world.
And soon-to-be-5 year old Obie goes,
“Daddy, Happy-New-Year-Birthday!”
—————
Is Buffalo the only place in the world where you can experience all 4 seasons in a week?
———————
This was neat. I was able to give a testimony Sunday night. First, this past week I was reading a lot on the armor of God in Ephesians 6, and Saturday night I was reading and praying down in my office and was reading 2nd Timothy 3. Lydia had found me and so I read her that chapter. Then on Sunday morning I had a few minutes so I was reading Matthew chapter 7.
Pastor Pete preached the Sunday AM service as Pastor Louie is in Germany. Pete preached on how to survive in 2017 and how to survive in the last days. 3 of his 4 points were from those passages.
And when I gave my testimony last night during the evening service, I shared that experience, and I said how I was praying this year to get ON FIRE for God and how God was answering that.
After I gave the testimony I felt a bit perplexed, maybe awkward perhaps. I felt that because saying the on fire part of it was not something I had rehearsed in my mind.
Then Pastor Pete preached. An entire message about getting on fire for God!!!!
It was like God was saying, keep going Mike, and keep running after me. I will set your soul on fire for me!
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I just wanted to publicly praise my wife here for all the world to see.
First, last night she was up til 4 am crocheting orders for Christmas. She loves making gifts for people and puts hours and hours into these projects. Her talents and hard work amaze me. And she is 6 weeks post-surgery and still taking medication for a blood clot.
I get the boys ready in the morning usually and today was a bit hectic — 2 had their Christmas parties today, I couldn’t find anything written if today was uniform or “free dress” and whether one or two or all of the boys were going outside during school today, so I was trying to find their snow pants just in case.
I made sure Josiah had his Christmas gift, had hats on the boys, gloves, etc. And made sure the bus driver and aid got the Christmas card my wife wrote out for them.
I headed to work and my wife called me after she saw that Elijah had left for school without his gifts and candies for the Christmas party. Oops. I didn’t even notice the bag that I had seen last night that was for Elijah. The plan was I was to put them in his bag.
So my wife flies through the shower, gets the 2 remaining kids ready and drives the bag to school in time for the party.
And though I felt bad, she didn’t complain once about what she had to do and didn’t give any objection to now having to take a detour for the day.
WOW. I saw the Lord’s mercy clearly earlier today and my wife was the one that showed it.
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A man visiting a third world country found a badly used bike in a dumpster and fixed it up so it at least could be rode. He presented it to one of the village children as a Christmas gift, and the boy had tears in his eyes, proudly riding his new bike. No one had ever given him anything before.
I remember in 2004 or so I went on a medical mission trip to Honduras where we set up a medical clinic and pharmacy at several churches there. I had been sponsoring a few children through Compassion and one child I was able to sponsor was 8 year old Carmen, from Honduras. They bused her down to where I was in Tegucigalpa and she, her Grandma and an interpreter were able to spend the afternoon with me. She had Pizza Hut for the first time and I took her to the mall and we picked out shoes and an outfit. She was so excited.
I also remember seeing a video of Chinese Christians receiving bibles for the first time. They hugged them, and each other, and the tears did not stop.
And then I remember hearing about a father who wanted to surprise his young son at Christmas. He bought him a brand new Nintendo Game Cube and games and wrapped them with care and hid them in the back of the tree. Toward the end of gift wrapping, he secretly pulled out the gifts and then watched from a distance in anticipation of when his son opened the present.
A few seconds later the son threw the gift across the room, yelled out, “But I wanted an Xbox!” and stormed off to his room, slamming the door. He refused to talk to his father the rest of the day.
America, we have a problem, don’t we. It might cause WWIII but it might be good for our children to send all their gifts oversees this year.
And next year, they just may be thankful even if they don’t get that X-box.
MJI
My boys had all the kool-aid packets out of the drawer this morning while I was packing their lunches.
I told them to put them back.
“Dad, please. We are playing a game!”
Sure enough, a few seconds later I heard,
“Elijah, do you have a sharkleberry fin? Go fish.
We were in my mom’s basement this weekend and found a tote of my old collectibles. Zechy pulls out a record from when I was his age of the Star Wars soundtrack.
He says, “wow dad, that is a BIG CD!”
I love the 5 Love Languages and I am still working on “my dialect”. God gave me a quick version of them which I will share below. I have a great wife who loves me for better or worse, richer or poorer, flat earther or spinning globe.
A good marriage key is to learn your spouse’s love language and “speak that to them.”
Quality time = HEAR ME
Physical Touch = HOLD ME
Acts of Service = SHOW ME
Words of Affirmation = TELL ME
Gifts = GIVE ME.
I am Thankful and BLESSED for my WIFE!
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My hope’s not in Obama, nor in the ex of Ivana, and NOT in Chelsea’s MAMA.
My hope is built on nothing less than JESUS blood and righteousness!!
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My son Josiah turned 9 today. We had hid a birthday card that came in the mail until this morning.
I handed him the sealed envelope and he exclaims, “I hope there’s a credit card in there!”
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I love Saturdays at the pharmacy. We are open 10-2 and it is more laid back, so I am able to take a kid-a-week to work with me.
Today it was Zech’s turn, our 6 year old.
He worked beside me a lot of the day, greeted customers, and emptied the recycling.
We had a nice lunch break together. Walked over to the Chinese plaza, and he gladly handed the girl a Chick tract in Chinese.
We ate together in the break room and we read the bible together.
Had some good conversations. Great memories.
Daddy, know what is my favorite story in the bible? The talking donkey and Noah’s Ark. And Abraham.
Zechy, what was your favorite thing about today? That I got to go here.
Daddy, why is your hair all turning white? I know why, you are growing old. You’re going to be a Grandpa.
When I grow up I want to be an Army Man, a builderman, a police and a fire-fighter.
What would you tell people about Jesus? That He’s real, that he died on the cross. That heaven is real. That hell is real. I really don’t know everything.
Daddy can we go to Dollar General right now, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaseee? You’ve been on that computer all day.
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Elijah did something very kind the other day.
We were visiting my grandfather up at the nursing home with the 3 older boys and our niece Abigail, and we let them visit the gift shop there.
Everyone picked out a small present but when I went to check out, I learned we couldn’t use our debit card. We had some cash on us, but only enough for 3 children.
So Elijah offered up his metallic army plane so Zech could get what he picked out instead.———
A thanks to the Brough-crew for their kind Anniversary gift to my wife and I. 10 years and a $10 gift card.
This means by our 100th, we should make out like bandits.
—————–
In some ways, I see that we are teaching the children some solid spiritual truths.
Lydia, who made the sun, moon, and stars?
Lydia: Jesus!
Zech, do you love JESUS?
Zech: YES!
And then on the other hand, we went to Red Robin and Lydia sees the Statue of Liberty.
“JESUS!” she says.
____
09/26/16
After 5 minutes on my newsfeed being bombarded with Hillary or Trump, I actually was looking forward to seeing someone’s dinner pics.
——
Just thinking….
Chemicals in our foods.
Chemicals in our water.
Chemicals in our air.
Chemicals in vaccines we inject.
Chemicals in our beverages.
Chemicals in our medicine cabinets.
Chemicals in our household items.
Chemicals in our health and beauty aids.
Think our chemical dependence just might be contributing to the deteriorating health in our country, increase in cancers, and autoimmune disorders, and other issues?
MJI
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We have one of those black plastic ponds by our front deck. Mice and moles have found there way in and drowned. And more than once, so have frogs.
Today I spotted a frog swimming in the pond and I could see he couldn’t get out. I grabbed a small rake and went to pick him up to let him out. He immediately swam FROM me and hit under the filter at the bottom of the pond.
I could not rescue him.
And that, folks, is all we are trying to do when we try and reach you with the gospel or tell you that you need to be saved.
John 5:40
“And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life.”
MJI
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My son’s 1st grade teacher has on her desk two signs, one says No Excuses and another says No Complaining Zone. A friend of ours was getting grief from a whole bunch of folks who said the sign was too harsh.
My response to the naysayers —
Awesome! And I think we need a No complaining zone for comments! Nothing wrong with a teacher wanting to instill some character EARLY in kids. Parents today are messed up — they are ok with their kids being read “Sally has two moms” or whatever in kindergarden but try to raise the bar to prevent another generation of whiners and wimps, and now you did something wrong!
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Salvation is more like entering a marriage and saying I DO to the God of the Universe, the LORD Jesus Christ.
It is not like getting a flu shot where now you can go on without any inconvenience or effect on your life.
True salvation will change the rest of your life, not just your eternity.
MJI
No matter how great a vacation is, I think the best sight-seeing attraction is when your car pulls back in your driveway and you see your home again.
I had prayed this morning for the Lord to surprise me today. I was in work mode a bit early this morning at the pharmacy now with my pharmacy hat on, but I had left out my bag and bible on the front counter before my first customer came in. A newer customer of mine came in, and was excited to see I had my bible out and told me she was a Christian too. I was able to minister to her after hearing all she was going through, and I offered prayer at the end. I prayed for the things she is going through, and her way-ward nephew who needs God in his life. At the end she kept saying how much this encouraged her and made her day.
God knows. And I am amazed how much He uses us, in spite of us.
MJI
This post is for you, Steve Brough Was outside when the garbage men came by. So I went to my wallet, gave them $5 and a couple tracts, and thanked them and said to go grab a coffee this morning.
I was a bit confused this morning until I called my wife once I got to work.
I woke her up a bit this morning when I went to say bye as I left for work. I reached over to give her a hug and she got really mad at me.
I quietly stepped away and headed out the door. I asked her what was up with that and she explained she just woke up from a dream where I was in the kitchen and making a mess, pouring all her spices into ice cube trays to use them when grilling steaks.
We both had a good laugh.
And now I am hungry.
MJI
I might have learned a great lesson yesterday that I believe would do the churches of America well.
We had our friends Steve and April over last night for a bbq. Before dinner, Steve and I were talking. Got talking about politics.
He explained his reasons for voting for Trump. I explained my reasons for why I don’t believe I can vote at all.
And we were able to share our reasons without arguing, and were able to accept each other’s position. He didn’t blame me for destroying America if I didn’t vote. I didn’t think he was foolish to trust our political system.
I found that refreshing, and I know me. A short time ago I know I would have had to “win”. Praise the Lord for maybe a lesson learned.
And seeing the Christians on FB, maybe we all need to learn from this.
(And if after reading this, your only response is you feel complelled to show me why I must vote for Trump, this post is for you!)
Had a bit of a dry week spirutually and it might have been my lack of faith or God testing me. But seeing His hand all over the past couple days, had a wonderful day of church services yesterday, and love when it is the Lord’s Supper. Love when God seems close.
Stopped at Wal Mart after church last night and had a handful of tracts in my pocket. Prayed God would lead me to the right people and had some good encounters on the trip.
When I left, I had one tract left. As I headed out of Wal Mart, I heard a lady talking and knew I was to give her the last tract I had.
And she wasn’t speaking English.
It just so happened that this was my only one I brought in Spanish.
Dios es bueno todo el tiempo!
I have seen several people had posted that if you are ever robbed when you are at the ATM, to enter your pin backwards and then the ATM will know you are in trouble and contact the police.
Um, I asked, so what if my ATM pin is 1881?
And yes, after looking into it more, this is a hoax. I do suggest to banks to maybe do that if you enter 911 for your pin!
One thing that would help American Christianity….
If we knew more of the songs of hymn writers like Fanny Crosby and less about stats of sports stars like Sidney Crosby.
Love your spouse challenge? Marriages today are ’til you stop making me happy do us part.”
But God calls husbands to love our wives as Christ and lay down our lives. God calls us men to grow up and put away childish things. God calls us to abstain from immorality and raises the bar that looking with lust is adultery.
When you are full of God and love Jesus Christ, there is no spouse challenge. It is easy, it is natural, and the wife naturally loves back.
Without Jesus being the center, marriage is a huge challenge becauase it interferes with SELF. When you are on the throne, marriage is a burden, and you are only in it for better, health, and richer. When Jesus is on the throne, marriage is a delight. It won’t be without hardships but most of the difficulties in marriage come from us being selfish, yet again!
Looking for a true love your spouse challenge? Fall in LOVE with JESUS CHRIST.
MJI
I must say I had a wonderful drive to work today and hopefully learned a lesson. At times I leave 10 minutes late, drive frantic to catch up 5 minutes, and clock in 5 minutes late.
Today I left 15 minutes early. Used cruise control to keep the speed limit 100% of the way. I found the pace relaxing, listened to a great sermon on the way in, enjoyed the sunshine, saw 4 deer in the field that I wouldn’t have seen if I was rushing, and I found that it only took me 5 minutes longer. And I clocked in 10 minutes earlier.
There is a spiritual application in there perhaps. Especially when I am keeping the speed limit, I am able to look around at God’s creation instead of looking for the police. Maybe if we are living for Jesus, we can be excited for His coming!
Have a great day, everyone.
Just wondering….
Are food trucks just ice-cream trucks for grown-ups?
This morning:
“Zech, what are you and Obie doing? Get down!”
“Daddy, we’re playing don’t touch the floor!”
“I have a game, how about you play the game ‘Pick up these toys or they go in the garbage’.”
“Daddy, that’s not a game, that sounds boring!”
on FACEBOOK
With all the hostility on politics going on today, I need to take a step back and for my spirit’s sake, spend more time with my Face in The Book during down time today, than spending a chunk of my day here on FaceBook.
To be continued…..
Love is rearranging your errands so you can end up at a store that sells your husband’s guacamole.
Real love is bringing 5 kids into the store that sells your husband’s guacamole.
Real true love is waking 5 kids up to bring into the store that sells MY guacamole.
It’s not about the guacamole.
And I know I am loved. Without a doubt.
Thanks babe,
I love you.
Your Michae
I admire many of your skills. You seem to be able to filet like a surgeon and maneuver like an Olympic Gold skier. I am talking about how I will post 50 spiritual posts and the 3 in between that are silly are the ones you will find and LIKE.
Just know I care about your soul. And I don’t want anyone to go to hell, even if you are voting for Hillary.
Kevin Schmelzer can you explain why we hail a taxi but don’t jalapeno?
I really think I like the idea of Go Pokemon now. Let the devil bring them together, and we can go find them and preach to them. And rescue them from perishing in hell one day.
Gotta catch ’em all.
MJI
There are many kinds of mouse traps out there. Glue traps, round traps, snap traps, plastic traps, poison, and cats.
I have found the most effective mouse trap so far though is our 30 some gallon Black High Density Polyethylene pond.
Caught another one this morning.
You hear a man has to wear many hats. Maybe I need to wear many capes.
Daytime — Pharmacy Boy. Filling prescriptions and saving the universe.
BibleMan – Saving the Universe
Super Daddy — Saving mommy from the monkeys!
With Jesus on the inside, and seeing the need out there, you can feel like a Super Hero. And one that carries a Cross, not a Cape.
Hand. Foot. And mouth.
Those 3 words. In that order.
If you have children, you will know what I am talking about.
And I am not complaining but I feel bad for kids and Mama!!!!
Obie and I were heading to the 2nd floor as we all were at cousin Aidan’s birthday party today. Obie says, “I want to push the button!”
He stretches up and hits the button.
I tell him, “wow, Obie, you are getting so big, you must be eating your Wheaties.”
Obie, “Dad, I DON”T LIKE WHEATIES!”
Me, “Ok, you must be eating your cheerios.”
Here is my daily Pokemon Bible devotion….
1st Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
Go Pokemon! And take all the other distractions with you!
So I am not pciking on anyone….. if you are one of those that say Purple or Pink or Polkadot or Pokemon or Green Lives Matter, what I really see is you don’t give a flip about anyone but yourself. In JESUS there is no insecurity over one’s color and we all look the same on the inside. Until the love of Christ reigns in your heart, you will be not able to truly love anyone different than you because it means you must admit you aren’t all that and a bag of chips. You will either feel superiour or inferior but when In CHRIST you will be able to love your enemies and know you are accepted in the Beloved so you will be able to truly take a vested interest in those that don’t agree with you.
Salvation ends the selfishisness. Jesus said if any man come after me, let him deny himself. The Bible says in the last days perilous times shall come for men shall be lovers of their own selves.
Truth in advertising, really they should be honest and say Only My Life Matters — and the rest of you can go to hell.
I wonder if Pokemon says jump, if any of today’s Christians say, “No I don’t have to listen to you Master Pokemon, for I am under grace, not law.”
I was tempted to do the Hokey-Pokeymon but I turned myself around.
july 14 2016
Our country would be a lot better if we went back to teaching abstinence in school, and put God back in the schools so kids had a moral compass and put a healthy fear of God back in America so men would not commit adultery and families were families and men did not abandon their duties or break their vows. Christians are not perfect, but a healthy fear of God keeps us inline, and when we get out of line we don’t get away with it. We tend to want what we have, are thankful for what we have, and are content, when God is our source of Satisfaction. The lie of the world is that Snickers satisfies. We don’t deserve a break today. We will find rest for our wandering souls only in JESUS CHRIST.
America told God from the 1920’s on that it didn’t want to be told what to do, and now there is no one behind the wheel. That is why we keep crashing and burning!!!!! That is why we get the wicked, godless leadership that is bent on destroying our nation. That is why people don’t know which bathroom to use. We have an identity crisis going on in America. Until “we” know WHO God is, we won’t know WHO we are.
America needs God but they will continue to try and find satisfaction in anything else, from bad relationships to new relationships to “viral/on line” relationships to Pokemon relationships. Until they enter a relationship with JESUS CHRIST.
America, bless God!
Wow, wow, wow. Michelle made a delicious beef stir fry for dinner tonight.
It was like eating homemade chinese food.
Only better.
And afterwords, all the neighborhood cats were accounted for.
MJI
A lot of secular humanists are laughing and mocking the new Noah’s Ark exhibit in Kentucky.
First, it is ironic that people never learn from history. Most of the world mocked then and missed the boat, and didn’t learn anything from their ancestors (who they now use to fuel their cars because gasoline is made up of fossilized animals, humans, and dinos!).
Second, the rainbow is God’s promise to never flood the entire earth again. It is a sign of comfort for those that trust God, a reminder of God’s judgment for those who don’t.
Third, God likens today’s generation to the days of Noah. The rest of the book of Revelation will come alive at any moment (it is a chronological book and we are already at the end of Chapter 3.) and the mockers will not be shown mercy. Now is the time that God is holding out the hand of Mercy. With the other hand He is withholding God’s judgment. In a moment, God will say ENOUGH and let go of both hands. There won’t be a flood, but there will be judgement upon judgment upon judgment and finally the earth will be burned up by fire.
Fourth, I hope you don’t prefer the new invisible Atheist attraction. It is a gorgeous 10 acres of barren field with some scrap metal in the center, and if you come back in a billion years, it will evolve to a fully functional theme park.
MJI
Yesterday I was hurrying to get home but was also enjoying the beautiful scenery. If I don’t have an errands to make, or Timmies coffee orders, I usually pass the Hamburg exit and get off in Eden.
Yesterday I also accidentally passed the Eden Exit. I drove by the Eden rest stop and thought, “Hmm, I think that comes AFTER the exit.”
I got off at the next exit, Irving. And adjusted my route and made it home, slightly later than I had originally planned. And I really didn’t even waste gas, as I was able to fill up on the Reservation too.
I say all that to say there is a huge difference between this life and eternity. Here we get to change directions, still change our destination when we ignore the exit sign, and find a detour when we hear the GPS say, “Turn around when possible.”
This side of heaven, there is an eraser on our pencils, white out, the delete button (sorry, tempted to throw in a Hillary joke here), and Tide.
God gives us opportunities and chances to repent, to turn around and change directions. Lost, we are in Adam, and that nature will carry us straight to hell. God cannot be in the presence of sin and His holy nature the bible describes is like a consuming fire. A fire might not want to intentionally destroy a little leaf but simply when it gets too close the flame engulfs the leaf. However, God made a way that a holy perfect God can be with man for all eternity.
Do not take that lightly. You don’t die and say, “oops, that Bible was right after all” and then get a 2nd go of it. When you die, your eternity is fixed. You will regret you missed the exit to heaven, but there are no more exits on the highway to hell.
The time to get off the wide path that leads to destruction is NOW.
The first step in finding directions to heaven, is to admit you are lost.
was doing my devotions – actually I was doing my morning FB’ing and Elijah approached me wanting to make a full breakfast. “Dad can I make pancakes, bacon, and eggs?”
We decided to just do eggs. He broke the shells, and used Grandma Pat’s antique hand beaters to mix them.
We both helped keep them from burning in the pan and when they were done they were the silkiest creamest eggs I can remember.
Almost like we have a Junior Masterchef!
I asked him for his other signature dish.
“Toaster strudels” he said. I was going to guess cheese and crackers.
Almost ready to make the jump to beef wellington, in our eyes!
MJI
If you are black, you are my friend. and honestly, I have had the honor to witness to several Buffalo Bills football players (all black) in the local Walmart and they were down to earth gentlemen.
If you are my enemy i want to win you over. if you are yellow, brown, polka dotted, white, tan, orange, furry, bald, oreo loving, oreo hating, Muslim, confused over your God-given identity, southern, northern, eastern, middle eastern, police, criminal, hater, liberal, Democrat, one that feels the Bern, if you share my posts or despise my posts, or even if you are a NY Yankee fan (Go Red Sox!), my heart is to reconcile things, help you, win you over to GOD, be kind, and unite us through JESUS and not a race.
When our identity is in JESUS CHRIST, we can all get along. If my identity is in JESUS CHRIST, I am not threatened by those that can’t get along with me.
MJI
When I start to get discouraged that I don’t feel “LIKED” enough, this gives me comfort.
Had Charles Dickens published “A Christmas Carol” on his timeline, he would have received 2 Likes.
His dinner that night would get 7 likes.
And the cat he shared that relaxed him during the stressful editing would get 50 likes.
Mike does not need to be LIKED. (Despite thinking he does!)
Our government makes the Mafia look like a bunch of amateurs.
A good biblical principal when it comes to witnessing is this:
Go as you grow.
Jesus said follow me and I will make you fishers of men. We can learn illustrations, techniques, and methods. But don’t stop there. Just like riding a bike, or learning to fish, you simply need to just dive in instead of waiting for a Master’s degree in Biblical Evangelism.
May I encourage you, Christian, grab a handful of tracts, a few icebreaking lures, and be prayed up and just jump in. You will have a life changing adventure – that may affect someone’s eternity.
I will share 2 illustrations next.
I try to not take life too seriously.
And take eternal life very seriously.
Had another thought on the way to work…..
Star Wars. Call me carnal but I like Star Wars, our American culture loves Star Wars, and having some exposure to it gives me something to build a bridge to the gospel with folks. It is good to take the natural and make a light-speed jump to spiritual when the door opens.
This is a good illustration because and only because God gave me this today.
In Star Wars, it is basically the opposite of the gospel.
You are naturally good, and choose the dark side which seduces you. Some resist and stay good, others embrace the dark side and eventually get comfortable in the ways of evil.
Christianity is just the opposite. We are born on the devil’s team and that is why Jesus said “ye must be born again.” Infants do go to heaven — and not because of infant baptism which is not even biblical — basically because God puts in an exemption status there. There is an age of accountability once you can see the light God attempts to shine on you and reject it.
What happens when you give a 2 year old a cookie? Or put 50 toys in a room and tell them they can play with every toy in the room except the Tonka truck?
We are naturally “bad” and have to choose the LIGHT side which “seduces” you. More like woos you like a man trying to win the heart of his future bride. You have to embrace the light, say “I DO” to God, and eventually get comfortable in the ways of God.
Jesus is the light of the world. Praise the Lord, I saw the light. And you can to. But you have to see, that you can’t. Until God opens your eyes.
Papa Joe’s was a cartoon strip i had started in the 1990’s based on customers and encounters working at my Dad’s store growing up. My dad, Joe, owned a store called Helthco in Hamburg.
It was good therapy for me and the employees and I think Dad and Grandma were my biggest fans. Grandma shows up in the cartoon, with the line, “Hello boys! i work for free!” when Dad announces he hires someone finally who is paid what they are worth.
Pulitizer prize cartoonist Tom Toles used to work for the Buffalo News and was a customer of ours. Once, I gave him some of them and he said he liked my dry humor. I think I was offended thinking, “but it’s laugh out loud funny.”
I am sharing this because it ties into a post I started that I may send later and this one grew out of control. I also think it will bring up some memories for family and co-workers alike. And you may get a laugh or three out of it. Later I may ask my wife to post the actual cartoons if I can find them.
Here are a few favorites I will quote….for now you will have to imagine them as cartoons.
a) “Well, Mike, it is getting busy enough that I can hire someone else” – Joe
“MATT!!!” I exclaim when I see the new employee.
Joe “oh, so you two know each other?”
Matt and Mike “Yes, Dad!”
b) Me and Matt at the counter debating something.
Matt goes, “Ok, I will test it.”
Goes up to a customer — “excuse me, what’s the capital of Bosnia?”
customer — “Peru?”
Matt comes back to me excited “HA! I told you the customer is not always right!”
Mike — ok, let’s try 2 out of 3.
c) 2 customers that look like Pigpen come in with dirt and dust clouds walk in.
Matt — oh no, it’s Mr and Mrs rose. you wait on them. i don’t think they have bathed since we’ve opened!
Mike — let’s flip. heads or tails?
Matt loses coin flip and shouts noooooooo!
Mr and Mrs. rose —hi we need some shampoo!
I say to matt, “Sometimes you have to stop and smell the Roses.”
d) Sign for help wanted.
Hi my name is Eugene Robertson, can i have an app-la-cation?
here you go Eugene.
Eugene comes back. I ask, need help? He says, I need help with a spelling.
What word?
Eugene: Robert-son
me : Um, I don’t think you are off to a very good start.
e) Me: just the beer, sir? (i wasn’t saved then!)
customer : yes, just taking a break from the coal shafts.
after — We are from the liquor authority. Do you know you just sold alcohol to a minor?
me — i thought I smelled a rat.
f) Customer #1 — “hey mike, did you start pharmacy school yet?”
matt, “I’m Matt.”
customer #2 — “hey matt, did you become an emmy winning TV show producer yet?”
mike — “I’m mike”
mike speaking to matt– “part of the sacrifice of working for family is living with an identity crisis.”
customer #3 asking me and matt — which one of you is Joe?
g) customer — you boys working hard, or hardly working? ha ha ha ha ha snort!
mike speaking to matt — our customers are so sophisticated they can amuse themselves.
——————
And that’s the end of the bologna!
(another one where a customer asks for a piece of bologna and every slice I show her is too think or too thin until I cut through a full new loaf)
Someone had greatly encouraged me when it comes to having small children and a mini van. They told me I would never have to worry in case I was ever stranded for weeks. The food you would find in the seats, under the seats, etc would help you survive.
I was moving the seats in our van yesterday and I was inspired by what I found. If you ever heard the 12 Days of Christmas, and the part that goes — 5 GOLD-EN RINGS! I could picture myself signi
Someone had greatly encouraged me when it comes to having small children and a mini van. They told me I would never have to worry in case I was ever stranded for weeks. The food you would find in the seats, under the seats, etc would help you survive.
I was moving the seats in our van yesterday and I was inspired by what I found. If you ever heard the 12 Days of Christmas, and the part that goes — 5 GOLD-EN RINGS! I could picture myself signing 5 CHEEER–EEE-OOOHS!
Perhaps a whole song will be birthed.
On the first day of van cleaning, my lovely children left for me,
12 M&M’s
11 wrapper bits
10 Lego pieces
9 sticky coins
8 french fries
7 Chicken nuggets
6 Dum Dum sticks
5 CHEEEEER-EEEEEEEEEEEEE-OOOOHS!!
bah-dumb-dumb-dumb.
4 laffy taffy’s
3 broken pens
2 bbq sauces,
and a Timbit stale and moldy!
Actually I found 3 Timbits.
And I am not done looking. Those 5 golden rings must be in there somewhere.ng 5 CHEEER–EEE-OOOHS!
Perhaps a whole song will be birthed.
On the first day of van cleaning, my lovely children left for me,
12 M&M’s
11 wrapper bits
10 Lego pieces
9 sticky coins
8 french fries
7 Chicken nuggets
6 Dum Dum sticks
5 CHEEEEER-EEEEEEEEEEEEE-OOOOHS!!
bah-dumb-dumb-dumb.
4 laffy taffy’s
3 broken pens
2 bbq sauces,
and a Timbit stale and moldy!
Actually I found 3 Timbits.
And I am not done looking. Those 5 golden rings must be in there somewhere.
If at first you don’t secede…
Note to South….
Heated up a left over hamburger today and just wanted a burger, ketchup, salt and no roll.
Whenever I eat this combo, it always reminds me of when I was a little boy and we would go to the Ground round, and I’d get a steak burger, with ketchup.
It might even been when it was their pay what you weigh.
I am not sure if I start throwing peanut shells on the floor if that would bring the same memories. Or was it popcorn?
Just saying……
I find it ironic as we head into 4th of July 2016, that so many celebrate America’s freedom on one hand, and on the other see nothing wrong with surrendering every freedom and gun to our government.
God fine tunes everything. I love serving Him and seeing what He will do next. An awesome prayer is this simple request, “Lord surprise me.”
Dr. Bill Grady gave me the idea for that prayer.
On Friday, I was at a men’s group and my friend Dan was talking about the Voice of the Martyr’s founder, Richard Wurmbrand. He was held in a Communist prison for years, tortured, beaten, starved, put in isolation, etc. Yet he still was signing praise songs to Jesus and continued to preach there, and witnessed with love and compassion to the guards.
That only makes sense if you know Jesus personally and experience the power of the resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings.
Dan was talking about Richard wrestling with whether to pray to be freed. He decided that God was doing such a work in him with these circumstances that he decided it was better that he was afflicted and chose to trust God.
He eventually was released.
American Christians, we need to pray, and trust God in difficult circumstances, knowing God is trying to grow us to go THROUGU these fires to purge us. Trials can be our best friend.
That is true for Richard, and while I don’t like the fire, I can say the tiny trials I have had compared to Richard’s prove the same.
—————
I added a piece of the lauging cow swiss cheese to my steak wrap the other day.
It was very tasty, but I don’t think the cow found it too funny.
———–
IF you wonder what is the method to my madness….ie bouncing between silly and spiritual…..and spatulas in between. (ie pharmacy)
Just 3 sides of the same coin.
Proverbs 17:22 says a Merry heart doeth good like a medicine.
A 5 minute poem.
Dad, I’m hungry.
Dad, I’m so hungry I could eat a cat.
I’m so hungry I could eat a frog.
I’m so hungry I could eat a rat.
I’m so hungry I could eat a dog.
I’m so hungry I could eat a duck.
I’m so hungry I could eat a deer.
Guess what kids, you are in luck!
DIng Dong! the chinese delivery is here!
Once Michelle explained my joke, had the folks at the Zoo gift shop laughing.
Found a cool boomerang there and when purchasing, I asked them,
“If this boomerang don’t work, can I return it?”
If you don’t get it, inbox Michelle.
When I write something silly and I get 20 likes, I really must say……
Stop encourging my foolishness!
Seriously.
Yep, sorry FB land. At times I wake up with 20 FB posts on my mind. And I might only post 25 of them.
Today it seems like I got nothing.
I can’t seem to get the thoughts out. It might be lack of inspiration. It might be lack of coffee.
It seems like I can’t even think of the word —- I can’t think of anything to put up on my……what is that word?
Almost like I’ve hit a WALL.
And soon back to your regularly scheduled Facebooking…..
If I can’t think of anything to say, I can say I’m tongue tied.
What if I can’t think of anything to write?
Am I key tied, computer tied, or finger tied?
Just asking….
I just lost in a span of 5 minutes — 2 phones. My can of Soda. What I was doing.
I am so very thankful God knows what He is doing.
Praise the Lord I cannot lose my salvation!
And if you believe the bible and trust Jesus AND his WORDS, you can’t lose yours.
Since I am on a roll….
Those who have trouble comprehending how a school of piranhas can devour a cow to the bones in less than a minute,
have never watched 15 cousins age 8 and under devour a box of Oreos in under 30 seconds.
I think I figured out my AC in my car only works half the time.
From approx October to March.
Will someone help me better understand Timmies math?
I can order a sausage on the side for $1. I can order a biscuit on the side for $1.
I can order a sausage biscuit for $2.99.
It is a sausage, and a biscuit.
We have a bowling alley in our plaza, and they have a Senior league on Tuesdays and Fridays. My boss will send me there to say hello and see if I can gain any customers.
It is a lot of fun, and I am getting to know many of them. I will joke with them and say, “I will treat you just like my Grandma” or “I will treat you just like my Grandpa!”
Meanwhile, I forgot to call my Grandpa the past few days!
I finally called just now! I better practice what I preach! (even when it’s “just pharmacy”)
——-
Saturdays we are only open 10-2 so I will at times take one of the children in. Josiah came last time. Today is Elijah’s day.
I asked Elijah why someone should come get their prescriptions filled here at Sav Rite instead of say Wal Mart.
He said, “because we have YOU.”
Maybe we just need now a Sav Rite Greeter. (And Elijah declined….)
As we headed into Wal Mart tonight, Obie exclaims that this is his favorite store. From my older boys when they were little, we have known it as Wehr-mert.
Obie, I thought you liked Dollar General.
He then wasn’t sure which one he liked more. I told him, “Daddy likes Sav-Rite because that is how we pay for Wal Mart.”
Anybody ever do this?
Gas light goes on. Just as you get on a long stretch of thruway. So you speed up to get to the next gas station faster.
(Even though you know the faster you go, the more gas you burn!)
MJI
I had a wonderful Father’s Day weekend! Thanks for all 5 kids who made the day possible! And a wifey who sacrificed as well.
And I love my mug, babe!
June 2016
We were in the Drive Thru on the way home tonight as Lydia was asking for some nuggets.
From her car seat, she just started singing and made us all crack up.
Old McDonald had a farm………………CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let me change gears a second. Just because I am curious how this works.
So if I rent an apartment, I pay rent and never own my own place. If I miss a couple payments I am kicked out and have no where to live.
If I want to buy my own house, I go to the bank and get a 20-30 year mortgage and pay every month. If I miss some payments, they foreclose and I am kicked out and have no where to live.
Ahh!!!! But one day I look forward tot he day I can pay off my mortgage.
And one day I get to still have to pay taxes on it the rest of my life and school taxes though the kids are long gone, and not in school any more. And if I miss paying my taxes, they take back the home, you are kicked out and have no where to live.
Is this really the land of the free? Feels like we are a bunch of indentured servants.
I think the reality is the only difference between those in jail and those not, is those in jail can see their prison bars.
Despite our captivity, I am thankful to God He bought me when this world wants to own me. I am thankful I can handle being rejected by this world as I am accepted in the beloved. I am thankful for the truth of the bible so I can think for myself and see through the lies of man.
I am thankful for Jesus in me, the hope of glory, so I can stop the religious treadmill wondering if I am pleasing God.
—–
Josiah, our 8 year old, is excited to be going off to camp for a week. They provide food there but they will have a snake shop of some sort at night.
“Dad can you give me money for the snacks?”
I ask him how much he thinks he might need.
“Oh, probably $100 will work. Can I have $200 just in case?”
on healthcare — june 8th
Gotta love the healthcare system.
We were in ER on Monday for 12 hours with Michelle’s stroke. Had a full exam from their neurologist resident and had talked to us afterwords and wanted us to call their neurologist office asap for an appointment. He assured us they are very good at getting people in and should have an appointment within a week.
Called and the next appointment they have is in August.
Zechy was on the computer this morning and I caught him googling….
DOCKMICKSTUFING
I have been on my low sugar, lower carb sort of diet the past few weeks. In 2 weeks I lost 10 pounds.
And in the past 2 days, I had a few off-diet detours. A little Coke, a slice of pie, 2 slices of pizza, and a bagel.
I gained 5 back.
Doesn’t sin work like that too?
‘ I trust the bible 100% and the media 0%
——
Josiah, our 8 year old, is going on a field trip downtown tomorrow and they are going to the library.
“Dad can I borrow your library card?”
“It’s on my key ring, sorry.”
“Dad, can you get me my own libray card and put money on it? Like $100?”
——
A friend had told us that Home Depot had a great deal on a swing set for the kids. Normally it was $2,500 and it was on clearance for $500.
We were intrigued, but reality is we could by 3 of them and they would probably lose interest after a month.
Besides, I found a better deal.
I found a $20,000 one for free at the town park.
—
This might make sense to the liberal.
A pregnant mom walks into the store.
A high school friend comes up to her.
“Wow, so you are expecting! When does the fetus come out and become a real human baby?
“Oh, sometime in June! we are excited!”
“Can’t wait to meet it. Do you have a gender neutral name picked out?
“Yes, we were debating. We decided on Pat Ryan.”
“Wow, very cute. Are you having a shower?”
“We are, but we are going to have a toddler shower once Pat knows which gender it wants to identify as.”
“Send me an invite.”
“Do you have your address?”
“Oh, i don’t want to be offensive. Send it to any address that works for you.”
“Will do! See you later. I am enjoying shopping here now at Target without those Christians. They are so strange.” —
On teaching the boys to pray
This morning, 4 year old Obie and almost 3 year old Lydie were about to snack on some graham crackers.
Obie: “Lord, bless my ‘damn crackers. Amen.”
—-
on political incorrectness
Wouldn’t a better rendering of the selfie-stick be a narcis-stick?
—-
I stopped boycotting Target.
I now am self-identifying as the Target CEO and I get my entire bill for free now.
Thanks, Target.
Here is just yet one more reason why America is going to hell.
If your 5 year old son announces he wants to be a garbage man when he grows up, do you go move to the City Dump?
Of course not. It is a phase. He will grow out of it.
And next week he’ll want to be an astronaut.
Yet more and more familes will start their boy on hormones and all kinds of wickedness if he announces he wants to be a girl.
It is a phase. He will grow out of it.
And if he doesn’t, a very big reason is because there are far too many sissified men in this country right now that the kid is simply rightly confused. He is following you, Dad.
Real men love Jesus.
————-
I heard some good marital advice about knowing men and women speak different languages. Men speak in blue, and women speak in pink.
Knowing this will help — 1. we need to learn each other’s language. and 2. we need not get mad at each other because we translated it wrong.
A good example happened last night. My wife asked me to give her half a paper towel.
I did exactly that with full 50% precision. So I thought. I went up to the quicker-picker upper, actually the Wal Mart off-brand, and tore one perforated piece off. I then ripped it in half. And gave her half a paper towel.
She explained that they were already perforated as half paper towels, so I was to give her a full half a paper towel.
Half means half of a full piece of paper towel. Duh. I just learned another word of pinkanese.
—–
Friday May 13th
I don’t want to cause any panic, but I just realized tomorrow is Saturday the 14th.
You were warned.
———-
Obama is a President self-identifying as a Dictator.
I have had this million dollar idea that I want to share. All i would need is a Wall Mart mastercard, a Wal mart, and a U-hual truck that also operates as a time machine. It is far fetched, I admit because I can’t see Wal mart surviving another 15 years.
What I would do would take about 4 steps.
1) Travel to Wall Mart 15 years in the future and stock up on Keurig machines that would then be selliing for $15 a machine.
2) Travel back to the present, open a Keurig store and sell them for $60 each. Use that money to restock in future Keurigs and current $15 Mr. Coffees.
3) Go back to 5 years before the Mr. Coffee 4 cup brew systems comes out —and introduce the Keurig then. Retail them for $95
4) Now, here is the million dollar idea. After about 3 years of the Keurig, introduce the 4 cup Mr. Coffee system. Not only will it make 4 times the amount of coffee, it has a clock. Retail $195.
And since UHaul bills you in miles, and you are only traveling time, you can do this whole thing for $19.95.
Because your Wal Mart bill won’t come in the mail for at least 20 years.
And now back to your regularly scheduled posting.
At 7 AM today, Elijah asks for a pencil to finish up his homework, and the bus is coming at 7:05.
I look in the cupboard and the pencil sharpener was missing.
If Michelle was sleeping I would have been lazy and gave him a pen.
Michelle, polite but firm, instead wanted me to sharpen one with a knife. I started fretting, and start complaining that this is not possible as I try being a wood carver, the bus is coming, and it is not going to happen.
She held her ground. She said she wanted to teach the boys a lesson that they can do all things. Yes, I said all things though Christ.
And then I said there is no way it could be done.
All of a sudden God gave me the idea. I grabbed a vegetable peeler and in 20 seconds had a perfectly sharp pencil.
Both the Lord and my wife taught my boys a valuable lesson.
And I think I learned something as well! Yes we can do all things through Christ, and without Him we can do nothing. The Lord just reminded me here, “Mike I was a carpenter on earth too.”
I think He is saying, “You really can trust me with all of your life.”
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…..
there was a big bang and produced everything you see today.
Vs.
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.
One is science fiction.
The other is biblical truth.
To use another Star Wars quote, “Your lack of faith disturbs me.”
The bible. It’s true. All of it.
MJI
I am still trying to learn the lingo. Is this the right way to order breakfast on Facebook?
eggs, #browns and corned beef &#
Thanks. Not that I ever had corned beef and #.
Had a couple good encounters last couple days when I spotted a group of teens playing basketball. Idea popped in my head, so I went up to them.
“Did you know I am in the NBA?”
They look at me in unbelief.
“Yes, I can’t jump, I can’t shoot, I can’t even do a lay-up, but I am in the NBA.”
Then I explained it is the National Bible Association. They laughed, I gave them some quick bible facts, and they all took tracts.
I told them they can be in the NBA too.
Do you know the ultimate statistic?
10 out of 10 people die.
Ever wonder why we die?
Death is a tragic reality of life, but we were never meant to die. By one man sin entered into the world and death by sin. That talks about Adam.
When Adam sinned, he “died” but it was a spiritual death and that meant that from that point on man was in a process of decay. We decay as we age. If we had eternal life in a decaying body, it would not be very pretty.
Jesus is the 2nd Adam. He came to make a way to bring us back to that eternal life with bodies that do not decay. That is reality.
Think about how many spend time preparing for a place for their empty shells that will just rot one day. Grave plots, surround sound plush carpeted coffins, tombstones, funerals.
And how most die unprepared for the 2nd death.
Dying once is inevitable. Did you know the bible talks about the 2nd death?
Dying twice is an option. And one you don’t want to face.
Trust Jesus today. He died a horrible death so you wouldn’t have to fear death.
By rising from the dead, He did everything necessary so your soul could be saved from the 2nd death.
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved says the bible.
You can trust it. Because you can trust Jesus.
—-
I was having the younger 3 brush their teeth this morning, Zech, Obie, and Lydia. And I told Zechy to go first (my 5 year old).
He said, “No dad, it’s Lydia’s turn. Ladies first. That’s the golden rule.”
——-
My wife and I were discussing plans for the next couple days and we were trying to figure out if we can get a date together in.
I suggested going out to dinner tomorrow and going to Yankee Candle after.
Michelle said, “How about you just grill up some steaks on the grill, and we rake out the yard together?”
Quickly I said, “Ok, tomorrow we are on for Steak-N-Rake.”
It was pretty exciting — might have been just the other day, but I was talking with Elijah and Zechariah about the Prophets Elijah and Elisha and how Elijah passed the mantle to Elisha.
And at church last night, Pastor Lou preached about the Prophets Elijah and Elisha and how Elijah passed the mantle to Elisha.
A little girl once looked at a sheep on a green hill and was amazed how white it looked. then it started to snow and soon snow covered the hill. then she looked again and was amazed how filthy the sheep now looked. we are clean compared to other men, but filthy compared to God. no sinners can be in God’s presence without the blood of Jesus Christ which will wash us white as snow.
Media — Weapon of Mass Distraction
Christians,
Just make sure you get your doctrine from Peter and Paul, not Simon & Garfunkel.
Heaven does not hold a place for those who pray.
Heaven holds a place for those that are saved.
Was excited to find out I lost 10 lbs when I weighed myself this morning. Just 3 days into the diet.
Then I moved the scale and gained 12.
Too soon to tell if it is the flooring, or the pizza.
I can understand the attraction to having that gastric bypass surgery to lose weight instead.
I think i figured out why it is so successful.
Because literally, your eyes become bigger than your stomach.
If i make you laugh, maybe you can handle the serious things I write better.
I had heard that the inventor of the auto-correct feature had recently died. His funeral was last Monkey.
And now months later, I find myself dieting again, for no particular reason.
Maybe this time the diet will stick and like Forest Gump….
“That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little diet. So I dieted to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d diet to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just diet across Greenbow County. And I figured, since I dieted this far, maybe I’d just diet across the great state of Alabama.
And that’s what I did. I dieted clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on dieting. I dieted clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I’d dieted this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on dieting. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I’d dieted this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on dieting.”
And Great! Now I am thinking about a box of chocolates!
Life can be storm-to-storm. We are either in a storm, coming out of a storm, or in the calm before the storm.
One key to life is preparing for the next storm whatever and whenever it hits.
Learning from the past storms.
And appreciating the rainbows that appear after the storms.
We tend to be self-made I-did-it-my-way sufficient storm survivors but often the events of life are intentionally orchestrated so we see we can’t calm the storms without help from above.
Some continue to put those storm barriers up in their hearts and refuse to be rescued.
But if we could truly see how good the Captain of our Salvation really is, we will learn we can run to Jesus no matter what stage we are at.
Or how severe, or mild the storm is.
Sometimes, just when the rain starts falling, before that torrential downpour hits, we will learn that looking to Jesus is so special and amazing, we will look forward to the forecast of rain.
And with Jesus on our lips and in our hearts, only see the muddy-puddles we can jump in, and not notice that the winds are raging all around us.
Jesus says, Come unto me.
Jesus says, Look unto me.
Jesus says, Call unto me.
Will you?
———
I think I saw some similarities between childhood and adulthood.
When you are a child and go to the doctor, he takes out the yard stick and measures you and says, “Wow, how big you have grown! You grew 2 inches since I last saw you!”
And then when you are older, he takes out a tape measure, and less excited, he says, “wow, how big you have grown. You grew 2 inches since I last saw you!”
Just curious. If I put raw hamburger in the freezer it turns into frozen hamburger.
On the way to work I saw a bunch of snow-covered cows over in a field right by the Eden thruway exit.
Yes they have leather jackets on, but I wondered if it would be like putting live hamburger into the freezer.
The owners should have brought them inside and warmed them up.
Like on a grill or something.
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My wife surprised me with a great surf-and-turn meal on Friday, steaks from Wegmans and sea scallops. Cooked to perfection on our new cast iron pan.
Much better than the last time I had seafood out at a restaurant. There the seafood was a bit rubbery.
So it was more like Nerf-and-Turf.
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The boys were picking on Lydia yesterday for singing a song about that frozen treat with a corn cob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made of coal, all nicely packaged in a cup of finely chopped up ice.
Yep, Frosty the Snowcone.
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It was a blessing to go outside today to be greeted by such a gorgeous sunshine.
It was a blessing to walk back inside and be greeted by such a gorgeous wifey.
MJI
Elijah was driving with me last night and it is neat the conversations he will initiate.
Elijah asks, “I think God’s favorite color is white.”
“And I also think it is green, because green is every where.”
I added, “I also think God loves RED because that is the color of the blood of Jesus.”
“Red, White, and Green.”
It dawned on me. “God’s favorite country must be Italy.”
MJI
We had a Winter Blitz at the church at the end of January and my mom was going through a lot at the time. On the way home from the Thursday night service, I really felt I should invite her to the morning session they were having the next day. I thought she would like especially Bro Bruce Frye, who before he was saved was a country singer trying to make it big.
He has a picture of him playing guitar with Hank Williams Jr and I thought she would find that interesting. And it would be a good draw to get her to come!
And she came, but after she said, “I thought you said Hank Williams Jr was going to be there!”
So the joke I have now is inviting her each week with some other singer.
Last week I told her it was Harry Connick Jr. Today I told her Billy Ray Cyrus was coming.
I might be embarrassing her, but I want my mom saved. Even if I have to hire Garth Brooks to do it!
MJI
Obie picked out a $3 plastic hockey set from Dollar General this weekend and the boys were having fun playing hockey from the two beds across the room.
I was hearing normal hockey banter coming from their room when I was out in the dining room. Then the older 2 took over and I could tell they were no longer playing hockey. I heard Michelle yell out, “They are not muzzle loaders!”
“Mom we’re playing civil war!” exclaimed Josiah.
MJI
Thought this was funny. I was unexpectedly interrogated when I got home yesterday.
I am doing this diet thing and my diet has really been quite improved. There are times when the only greens I will get one week is a Shamrock Shake.
I stopped at Dollar General after work last night and felt like my sugar was low, and a mini-snickers sounded like a good solution. So while getting the small list we needed, I bought the 100 calorie mini-snickers and ate it in the car.
When I got home the boys were going through the bag looking for goodies. Josiah picks up the receipt.
“Where is the snickers?”
Busted.
MJI
A public praise for my wonderful Wife Michelle,
This is a special I-LOVE-YOU and appreciate you, am in awe of all you do and in love with who you are, despite not feeling good most of the time, for being there for me and loving me when I am down or stressed or discouraged, for staying up til wee hours of the night many many many nights, busy night and day til the wee hours of the morning decorating or wrapping or hanging photos or painting or cooking chicken soup at midnight for a sick neighbor or a full course meal for someone who just had a baby or had surgery, or spending hours crocheting a 6 foot long mat for a homeless person to sleep on, or a messy bun hat, or a lego blanket, or a unicorn hat for a little girl and not expecting anything in return, or renovating a salon, or making sure every holiday is precious and every grandparent and child and niece and nephew is remembered and for the day in day out lessons for life to make the most of each day and not procrastinate what needs to be done and realize you can do much more than you think.
I owe an awful lot to you my love. I love you.
Love your Michael
A Marriage Tip for those on a budget….
It might cost more in the long run, but I think it’s worth it.
If you regularly purchase the $5 and $10 bouquets of roses at Wal Mart throughout the year, you just might not need to run out and buy the $15 Valentines Day versions.
And if you pay attention to her more than twice a year (Happy Sweetest Day!) she will also enjoy the half price Valentines Day chocolates for the remainder of February each year.
MJI
Speaking of Hulu, Elijah found a cool show we have watched a few times called Dual Survivor. This show is on Discovery and puts 2 guys in simulated emergency survival situations and they find a way to surive and find civilization. For example, they simulate a situation where two friends are driving and they end up stranded in a dessert or in a blizzard on a mountain or on a deserted island.
They find ways to make fire using anything from 2 sticks to a telescope to chemicals to a car engine. They boil salt water and drink the condensed freshwater steam. They catch rats and hunt small game using homemade dart guns and sling shots. And they use whatever is on them to make anything from fishing equipment to weapons.
I watched that and saw a lot of paralles with my unique survival skills. Yes, I can likely only can make a fire if one of my sticks was a match. But I see that same inginuity and McGiver think-outside-the-box quick thinking from time to time.
Like when we are out of chocolate and starting a diet thing.
I can make raw cookie dough out of a few household ingedients, I can build a sundae using raspberry jelly, raid the hot chocolate bar, find frosting packets in the box of toaster struddles, find the marshmellows in a box of Lucky Charms, and find many useful ways to use a container of nutella.
Except I might pass on a griled rat no matter how much nutella I had.
MJI
I was looking through some pictures and I came across these!!
After the boys left for school this morning, I was walking on eggshells around 7:30 this morning.
And cheerios. And Lucky Charms.
Then I swept. All good.
..
I do like the documentary type shows you can find on Hulu. You know, like Master Chef. Ok, that’s a stretch, but I love River Monsters and as a bible believer, it is powerful when any story from the bible that the scoffers mock suddenly comes alive when the evidence catches up to what God already wrote down.
For example, over and over in River Monsters, you see for yourself what is under the water and how there are even catfish big enough to swallow a man.
The story of Jonah is real whether one believes it or not, but science will never go against the bible.
Science just often takes a long time to catch up to it.
I really am not a fan of technology but today it seems to be a necessary evil and trying to use it to reach people with the gospel. I do appreciate my car, but I don’t at all like the fact it has no cd player in it and you need a thumb drive or zip drive or whatever. I don’t do video games, I don’t like being bombarded by loud obnoxious music everywhere you go, and I don’t like how when you get gas there is now a video screen to watch when you pump your gas. If it felt like I wasn’t breaking the law to not own a cell phone it would be gone, and if someone came in and stole the TV I might not notice for a few days.
Maybe I am having an identity crisis maybe.
I might just be an Amish man trapped in a human body.
MJI
Funny how this works.
When I make a debit, it posts right away.
When I make a deposit, it posts the next day.
MJI
i was excited to see on my Tim Horton’s coffee yesterday that I truly won a free brand-new car
-d board cup. And matching lid.
Which I just ruined rolling up the rim.
Please play again.
MJI
My favorite color is green. Is your favorite color blue?
My desk is brown.
Do you know what indigo is?
When we’re saved, we are white as snow.
Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you.
–written by Elijah Ilardo
2nd Grade
How to build the biggest snowman.
If you want to build a snowman, you need a big ball of snow.
Then you make two more.
Last, but not least, you dress him.
“Don’t let him melt,” I said.
–written by Elijah Ilardo
I mentioned our Kohls outing the other day. This I think is something funny at my expense. My wife should be sharing a picture of this so it might make more sense.
We went to Kohl’s because I I needed some new dress shirts for work.
My wife picked me out a couple and I was very adamant I didn’t like the ones she found. She found a couple more and I still refused them.
She couldn’t figure out why I was being so stubborn.
And I explained how I think their shirt design with the pocket for your cell phone looks stupid and I refused to wear that.
“Hon, that is the end of the shirt sleeve, pinned across the breast of the shirt.”
Ouch.
MJI
My wife and I had a brief date this week.
We got to run to Kohls for new outfits.
She was stuck with the Ilardo humor for a short bit.
I sprayed myself with this cologne sample and I was excited because it had that alligator on it. I hadn’t seen one of those since I was a kid.
She smells the cologne and I tell her I was excited about the alligator.
She says, “You’re dating yourself!”
I say I’d rather date you!
(drum roll)
And then when we get outside it is a bit of a blizzard.
“Where did all this snow come from?” Michelle asks
“The SKY!” I answered.
MJI
Was kind of cute….
I was telling Obie….
Jesus loves Obie!
and Obie loves Jesus!
It is a match made in Heaven!
MJI
Christians,
Just make sure you get your doctrine from Peter and Paul, not Simon & Garfunkel.
Heaven does not hold a place for those who pray.
Heaven holds a place for those that are saved.
MJI
Life can be storm-to-storm. We are either in a storm, coming out of a storm, or in the calm before the storm.
One key to life is preparing for the next storm whatever and whenever it hits.
Learning from the past storms.
And appreciating the rainbows that appear after the storms.
We tend to be self-made I-did-it-my-way sufficient storm survivors but often the events of life are intentionally orchestrated so we see we can’t calm the storms without help from above.
Some continue to put those storm barriers up in their hearts and refuse to be rescued.
But if we could truly see how good the Captain of our Salvation really is, we will learn we can run to Jesus no matter what stage we are at.
Or how severe, or mild the storm is.
Sometimes, just when the rain starts falling, before that torrential downpour hits, we will learn that looking to Jesus is so special and amazing, we will look forward to the forecast of rain.
And with Jesus on our lips and in our hearts, only see the muddy-puddles we can jump in, and not notice that the winds are raging all around us.
Jesus says, Come unto me.
Jesus says, Look unto me.
Jesus says, Call unto me.
Will you?
MJI
think I saw some similarities between childhood and adulthood.
When you are a child and go to the doctor, he takes out the yard stick and measures you and says, “Wow, how big you have grown! You grew 2 inches since I last saw you!”
And then when you are older, he takes out a tape measure, and less excited, he says, “wow, how big you have grown. You grew 2 inches since I last saw you!”
MJI