I recognize and admit I have always had a love for writing but I never knew what to do with it. I thought it was good but I still didn’t know for sure because I was very sensitive and insecure.
When I wasn’t saved, I published annual Christmas newsletters, wrote articles in UB’s generation magazine, and wrote poems and cartoons. I am still trying to figure this out, but I am starting to simply see two things come into focus. I am truly thanking God now for this talent and I am determined to write and let God take this where he wants.
I am not showing off here but I am amazed when I see a bit of a timeline here. Dates are estimated at times. I am basically just tracing my writing roots a bit, and as my family growing up would remember, do this as a Top 10 list.
Top 10 Writing Accomplishments
10) Ronnie Rap -poem 4th grade…. “When Ronnie was in Hollywood, he worked with monkeys then. Now he is in Washington and works with them again.”
9) A White Dog in Black Snow – short story I wrote in 8th grade– “I loved the snow. In fact i treasured it.”
8) The night before Christmas — full poem parody from 1996– inspired by my cat always destroying my Christmas tree. “Twas the night before Christmas, the goose getting fat, not a creature was stirring, except Sambuka my cat.”
7) Papa Joe Cartoons –full animated cartoon series. see below and the Helthco Top 10 Lists — Where’s Mike? Where’s Katie? Where’s Matt? Where’s Joe? that usually began with a “They left to build a house and look for a better job” and usually included a Steff Sister joke or an Octagon joke, or both. Inbox Matt for more info on these.
****here is a special section on the Papa Joe’s cartoons ***
Papa Joe’s was a cartoon strip i had started in the 1990’s based on customers and encounters working at my Dad’s store growing up. My dad, Joe, owned a store called Helthco in Hamburg.
It was good therapy for me and the employees and I think Dad and Grandma were my biggest fans. Grandma shows up in the cartoon, with the line, “Hello boys! i work for free!” when Dad announces he hires someone finally who is paid what they are worth.
Pulitizer prize cartoonist Tom Toles used to work for the Buffalo News and was a customer of ours. Once, I gave him some of them and he said he liked my dry humor. I think I was offended thinking, “but it’s laugh out loud funny.”
I am sharing this because it ties into a post I started that I may send later and this one grew out of control. I also think it will bring up some memories for family and co-workers alike. And you may get a laugh or three out of it. Later I may ask my wife to post the actual cartoons if I can find them.
Here are a few favorites I will quote….for now you will have to imagine them as cartoons.
a) “Well, Mike, it is getting busy enough that I can hire someone else” – Joe
“MATT!!!” I exclaim when I see the new employee.
Joe “oh, so you two know each other?”
Matt and Mike “Yes, Dad!”
b) Me and Matt at the counter debating something.
Matt goes, “Ok, I will test it.”
Goes up to a customer — “excuse me, what’s the capital of Bosnia?”
customer — “Peru?”
Matt comes back to me excited “HA! I told you the customer is not always right!”
Mike — ok, let’s try 2 out of 3.
c) 2 customers that look like Pigpen come in with dirt and dust clouds walk in.
Matt — oh no, it’s Mr and Mrs rose. you wait on them. i don’t think they have bathed since we’ve opened!
Mike — let’s flip. heads or tails?
Matt loses coin flip and shouts noooooooo!
Mr and Mrs. rose —hi we need some shampoo!
I say to matt, “Sometimes you have to stop and smell the Roses.”
d) Sign for help wanted.
Hi my name is Eugene Robertson, can i have an app-la-cation?
here you go Eugene.
Eugene comes back. I ask, need help? He says, I need help with a spelling.
What word?
Eugene: Robert-son
me : Um, I don’t think you are off to a very good start.
e) Me: just the beer, sir? (i wasn’t saved then!)
customer : yes, just taking a break from the coal shafts.
after — We are from the liquor authority. Do you know you just sold alcohol to a minor?
me — i thought I smelled a rat.
f) Customer #1 — “hey mike, did you start pharmacy school yet?”
matt, “I’m Matt.”
customer #2 — “hey matt, did you become an emmy winning TV show producer yet?”
mike — “I’m mike”
mike speaking to matt– “part of the sacrifice of working for family is living with an identity crisis.”
customer #3 asking me and matt — which one of you is Joe?
g) customer — you boys working hard, or hardly working? ha ha ha ha ha snort!
mike speaking to matt — our customers are so sophisticated they can amuse themselves.
——————
And that’s the end of the bologna!
(another one where a customer asks for a piece of bologna and every slice I show her is too think or too thin until I cut through a full new loaf! ****
6) 2003-2005 The Buffalo city mission sermons – the Joseph Series of messages (God gave Joseph a Dream — and through Obedience, Faith, Humility and Patience, God allowed the Dream to Pass), the Mimic Octopus, Lessons from Pharmacy, Why Jesus is better than Santa, Jonah, etc The Lord gave me the idea to volunteer in the kitchen preparing meals for the folks at the Buffalo City Mission once a month and once a month I would preach the late morning chapel service. I loved it. When I first started preaching, I would type out full sermons on my laptop, and those I would often read word for word as my message.
5) 2005-2006 the 13 Firemen Pamphlet after getting all excited at a bible study and then having to endure 2 hours of Christians arguing over doctrine. The ETVFC idea was birthed out by the end of the tract. ETVFC, which stands for the End Times Vol Fire Co, might be the direction God wants at some point, but I would now emphasize more discipleship and help with addictions and spiritually dying to self. (see homepage of this website)
3) 2006+ Wedding testimony, “How God brought us together – The Story of Mike and Michelle Ilardo” and my personal testimony
tract, “What in the World happened to Mike Ilardo?”, and other tracts I wrote —
Stanley Cup Trivia
Taste and See
Game 7 Sudden Death Overtime
Fish Oil Salesmen
Redeeming the Time
Yes, Virginia there’s been a Savior Born!
I also wrote and designed a 6 week Creation powerpoint presentation, where 3 of them are up on the website.
4) 2012+ KeepAmericafromhell.blogspot.com . Wrote series and dozens and dozens of blog articles. titles include:
The Jesus is not a Flu Shot series.
Don’t recruit with the Fatted Calf
Don’t miss the boat (about Noah)
Don’t count your converts before they hatch!
https://keepamericafromhell.blogspot.com/…/the-romans-road-…
2) 2013 Facebooking –just see my time line. God gives me ideas a lot of the times. Other posts, such as my political ones are ways to deal with the things that frustrate me. I seem to write as stress reduction as when I write I get solutions and often get my eyes off the problems. Struggle is still a bit unsure how it all comes across.
1) 2013 my blog is switched to this ETVFC.org designed by Tom and George Rood from our church at Old Time Baptist Church. These 2 brothers have a web design company called Intelligent Design. We have some of the tracts up there I wrote, the blog, a few power point presentations, some articles, etc.
The theme is saving the lost and equipping the saved.